PAULIne von MoLTke

In a very real sense,

all parents practice attachment parenting:

Attachment is always

taking place, and all parenting

is a central component of the creation of

attachment.

The hallmarks of attachment security

are availability,

responsiveness,

and sensitivity.

THE STORY OF ATTACHMENT

Attachment is the way we relate to the important people in our lives. It is a key element of

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psychological and emotional well-being, and forms our views about love and connection. In many ways, attachment is the umbrella under which all other development occurs. The way we attach to others guides the quality of our relationships, how we see the world, and the tone and depth of our lives. ² Our attachment style and patterns are grounded in our first experiences, namely those primary relationships of our first years of life. ³ All babies attach to their caregivers, regardless of parenting choice or style. In a very real sense, all parents practice attachment parenting: Attachment is always taking place, and all parenting is a central component of the creation of attachment. It is a question of what kind of attachment we’re talking about, and how healthy that bond is.

Without bonding, babies fail to thrive, or

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even risk death. ⁵ Attachment is a biological necessity that stems from the reliance of immature infants on their caregivers for protection, advantage, and basic survival.

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Attachment security in infancy is associated with healthy, mutually satisfying relationships, optimal cognitive functioning, and emotional and behavioral management later in life.

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Secure attachment relationships are marked by a mutual bond in which the mother or other caregiver shapes infant development through her interactions and relationship with her child. These relationships allow for the

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formation of an “internal working model” that functions as a template by which babies can gauge their own emotions and those of others. ⁹ The hallmarks of attachment security are availability, responsiveness, and sensitivity; ¹⁰ hence, it is not just the presence of the parent, but the quality of the parental response, and the parent’s emotional availability and sensitivity to the baby’s communication, that form the heart of a child’s security. ¹¹ When a baby is cared for in this wholly sensitive way, a secure relationship will likely develop and form a foundation of health to underpin the child’s entire life.

Parents of securely attached children have the ability to make themselves available to their child for comfort and support when she needs them (called a safe haven), and to allow her the freedom to follow her curiosity and explore her world in safe ways when she is ready to (called a secure base). This secure relationship gives the

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child confidence that someone will be available to help her when she needs it. She develops a model of other people as dependable, and of